Comments on: Quick lunch-time update: musing about surviving tough times

By: anonymous

anonymous — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:14:53 +0000

Sometimes such difficult periods can be healthy for us because when dealing with them we can become stronger and learn how to talk with other people and many other things we haven’t noticed before this period.
Cara Fletcher
http://www.how2dealwithdifficultpeople.com/

By: anonymous

anonymous — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 18:06:05 +0000

Your description of your feelings about losing your dad this way resonated with me. I lost my Dad to cancer, and yes, the slow painful process will change you forever. My sister-in-law was just diagnosed with breat cancer, and my wife lost her first husband at the age of 30. All of this is a too longwinded way to say I feel ya. Hope I’m not being presumptious with advice…but save some of your personal energy for you, it’s all well and good to be there, and be a rock to whomeever needs it, but be mindful of your own health needs. Good luck.

Mack

By: kateo

kateo — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:56:31 +0000

Ginger, this made me cry. Thanks for both understanding and making it clear just how well you do understand.

By: jb98

jb98 — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:11:59 +0000

I don’t believe “that which does not kill us makes us stronger” in all cases. Sometimes, that which does not kill us makes us nearly dead.

By: gingerge

gingerge — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 00:13:30 +0000

But see, if there is any good that comes out of grief, it is the beauty of being able to grieve on your own terms. That which has brought you to grief wasn’t within your control, but how and for how long you need to mourn is completely yours to own. There is no prescription for how long you “should” take to be over your dad. My dad was killed tragically in 1991. Some days it feels like I haven’t seen him in a lifetime, and yet others it feels like yesterday. Some anniversaries I feel like rushing through the day and staying busy, others I want to stay in bed and grieve all over again. I was daddy’s little girl, even at age 24 when he died…I’ll bet you were your daddy’s girl, too…and that is a treasure we can both hold on to for the rest of our lives. On days like these, it’s ok to just revel in your grief and press through the pain. There will be time tomorrow to hit the grindstone of life again. For today, take care of you.
Here are hugs coming your way…

By: kateo

kateo — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:08:48 +0000

Good point. Maybe I’m just not there yet.

By: therealjae

therealjae — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:20:59 +0000

Hmm. In my case, “that which does not kill you makes you stronger” was about learning how to *stop* being a walking barometer of other people’s emotional states, not about giving in to it.

-J

By: leduck

leduck — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 19:28:45 +0000

I know what you are continuing to go through. It will get easier, but such times change you forever. Some things should, you know, and the illness and death of those dear to us, are one of them.