Comments on: Beautiful awkwardness

By: huashan

huashan — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 21:36:12 +0000

That works too…
I think it’s sad that it ever makes someone uncomfortable to sincerely compliment them. I think it’s even more sad that there are legitimate reasons for that to be the case.

By: kateo

kateo — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 21:31:35 +0000

I think your statements are interesting and worth pondering, but just to be clear, I’m not trying to say that his compliment was inappropriate. It was more that it was uncomfortable, and that was mostly because, as I said to above, I don’t really have a frame of reference for that type of interaction. I do have a frame of reference for being complimented, but not one for receiving such a large, sweeping, significant-sounding compliment that came almost out of nowhere and left me puzzled as to how to respond.

By: hnybny

hnybny — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:22:20 +0000

LOL

Yeah, baby, that’s love.

By: hnybny

hnybny — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:20:48 +0000

I know where you are coming from.
I mean, it’d be really uncomfortable if this was a person you see everyday….but this was a one-off. Y’know, perhaps a one chance opportunity.

By: huashan

huashan — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:16:41 +0000

I think it’s sad that it is ever considered inappropriate to sincerely compliment someone. I think it’s even more sad that there are legitimate reasons for that to be the case.

By: hnybny

hnybny — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:13:58 +0000

Okay, I’ve got your perspective. One thing though…

Didn’t you say he’d finished his work and was leaving? Normally you don’t see him, he is not an office employee. That would make it almost impossible to see you otherwise, outside of work hours. I mean, without stalking you, which would be creepy for real.

By: kateo

kateo — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:51:36 +0000

See my response to below. This is not about what color our collars are. This is about the fact that we were both on the clock, and it would have been unprofessional for him to have asked me out. Professionalism is professionalism, no matter what color your collar.

By: kateo

kateo — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:46:50 +0000

I don’t think this has anything to do with anyone feeling uncomfortable making the first move —in the right context. This was not the right context. He was there to do a job. I was there to do a job. We were both on the clock. It’s not the right time to be pickin’ up chicks. To be clear, I don’t think what he did was out of line; but had he taken it to the point of asking me out, yes, I would have thought that to be inappropriate behavior while at work and especially as a contractor in someone else’s workplace, so yeah, I wouldn’t have had any qualms about letting someone know. Not because it’s in any way a firing offense — if it were the first time it had happened, the guy shouldn’t even get in trouble, per se; I’m just saying it’s questionable behavior that is likely to be viewed as unprofessional and should not be a pattern. But how is anyone going to know how often he asks women at customer sites out (in this hypothetical world) unless they know he’s doing it at all?

I’m open to being contradicted on this, but I’m coming from a few perspectives, one of which is that, if I were the owner or manager of a company that did jobs on customer sites and one of my employees asked out someone they’d just met at the site, I’d want to know. I certainly wouldn’t dismiss that person, but I wouldn’t want it happening again — I don’t think it gives a very good impression of the service.

By: explodingcat

explodingcat — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:17:14 +0000

I have occasionally passed a woman on the street and found the moment to be utter perfection, like a well crafted work of art– the light of the sun at just the right angle, the wind in the hair in just the right way, a beautiful face, and a brief look in her eyes. It’s the kind of moment that makes me feel happy to be alive. I just want to stop her, tell her how beautiful she is, thank her for that moment, and leave it at that with no expectations. Then, I would just keep walking and get on with my life.

But I never do that, precisely because I know how much confusion and worry I will inspire.

By: browse

browse — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 16:49:36 +0000

> at least he wasn’t trying to ask me out
> or anything, which has happened, and
> at which point I definitely would have
> alerted someone at the company to notify
> his employer of inappropriate conduct.

*boggle* For asking you out?
It’s responses like this that make guys like me absolutely paralyzed about making the first move.